Dating right after breakup

So because this is an inherent fear we all have, and after a breakup people are still raw and grief-stricken, your instinct might be to rush things or even straight-up settle, just to avoid being alone.

That’s the last thing you want to do; in the long run, you’ll just be miserable.

You’ll be sitting across from a date at dinner and notice he doesn’t do something exactly like your ex did, and suddenly you cross them off your list.

That’s not how you’re going to have a successful dating life; you can’t run around comparing everyone you meet to your ex, in either a good or bad way.

You need to find you again, remember how to do things solo, and reclaim the person you were before the relationship, so you can go into a new one completely in tact.

Just recently, my boyfriend of two and a half years broke up with me. Since that time, I have done many positive things to change my life and myself. Dear Reader, After a significant relationship has ended non-mutually, the partner who has been "dumped" often wonders about similar issues to yours. You were with your boyfriend for two and a half years, which allowed you to develop and foster a relationship in which you got to know and care for him.

Hounding him for an answer may not be the most helpful thing to do, as he may not give you the answer you're looking for, or it could cause more fighting or angst. Continue doing the things that you enjoy, such as participating in clubs and organizations, playing sports, going to work, volunteering, or spending time with friends.

Writing in a journal, talking with a trusted friend or family member, or meeting with a mental health professional about your feelings might be a positive next step. Chances are that eventually you'll meet others with whom you share similar interests.

Some of these new interactions could lead to potential dates, too.

Working through these thoughts and feelings may be the next steps that you can take. It's natural for you to be "not at all over" him right now, as it's been only about one month since the break-up.

It may just be that not enough time has passed for you to get over him... You are grieving the loss of your relationship and may still need more time to mourn.

Wouldn't it be great if there were quick cures to the "break-up blues"?

Unfortunately, there are no simple remedies, and at times, uncomfortable feelings and regret also come along for the ride.