Though Schmidt and Seeking Arrangement’s Wade may have different ideas about how to facilitate the flow of sugar, they’re allied against a common enemy — often times, the modern feminist. I’m sure there are scumbags on the site, but there are legitimately generous people who really do have the extra money and who really do want to help someone out and feel good about doing it. I think prostitution would feel more like that.” But does she think others, like her mother, would call what she does prostitution? “You can raise your kids and not work at all and sit at home in a nice big house . “It was never like, ‘I’m going to start giving you the money when you have sex with me.’ I’m sure they want it and expect it, but in my relationships it’s never been expressed to me. Official company materials highlight the allure of sugar dating, encouraging students to stop “wasting precious study hours at a minimum-wage job” and to instead connect with a “generous benefactor” who might provide valuable networks and introductions.“Why hope for financial aid when you can guarantee it with a sugar daddy? “Student loans lead to endless debt, which amounts to more than a new graduate can handle.” “Often times if somebody has sent out something like that, it takes us just a couple of days to find them and then boot them off,” Bermudo says.“I wouldn’t say that happens rarely, but unfortunately it’s really hard to measure.” (At the time of writing, the member in question was still active on the site, over a month after my initial contact with him.) Lisa Schmidt, who often goes by the online pseudonym Exa Palmateer, is a former sugar-baby-turned-CEO at Sugar Matchmaking.com, a competitor to Seeking Arrangement that charges sugar daddies anywhere from ,500 to ,000 for a yearly membership.
Some admitted outright that they expected a physical relationship; others claimed they simply wanted companionship (mostly during business visits to New York).That the money usually changes hands through Pay Pal, and not an envelope on the dresser, helps reinforce the illusion that this isn’t tit for tat. (There are other cautions about sending money by Western Union, receiving bad checks and “any messages involving Africa, Ghana, Nigeria, Russia and wiring money.”) I used a real photo of myself and real biographical details in my profile — omitting that I am a writer but including other real pursuits. After seeing official site figures that the average daddy spending per year is only ,200 (down from ,772 in 2007), I downgraded my income requirements to Moderate (,000 to ,000 monthly). The first message came from a graying theater artist who’d learned the ropes of financial investing after inheriting family money in the ’90s.Like other sugar babies, Megan doesn’t consider this special brand of financial aid prostitution; she compares Seeking Arrangement to any other dating site, just with a different clientele. I wrote that I was looking for someone to assist with monthly rent and travel for independent photo projects. We exchanged a few messages about photography, but he was, it turned out, in Canada.“ I think that sugar-dating sites are more likely to attract the type of person who is interested in a traditional power dynamic between men and women, [who] is older, has more resources, has more money to . A second, a West Village restaurant owner, sent a message that I was exactly his type.He’d just gotten out of an arrangement with a fashion student because she’d met someone and was dating him seriously, but he was looking to replicate the arrangement.