Some translations render the word "wrong" as "defraud." To defraud someone is to deceive that person — in this context, to imply a commitment that does not exist by committing acts with someone that are appropriate only in the context of a particular relationship (i.e., marriage) to satisfy my own "passionate lust." To commit sexual immorality with and against someone, far from showing the "love" to which Scripture calls all believers, is to act like those "who do not know God," and this passage calls such acts "sin." Now, one obvious counterargument to the point I intend to make is that the Scriptures I've cited above just beg the question of what behaviors violate those passages.
The argument might run thus: "Of course I want to love to others. I just think I can show genuine affection (short of intercourse) with someone I clearly care about and still obey those passages." Fair enough. Let's say for the sake of argument that it is theoretically possible to engage in extramarital romantically oriented physical activity Think about the times you have engaged in any type of romantically oriented physical activity with someone not your spouse.
Still, the overwhelming majority of believers will only share that relationship with one person in their entire lives.
How are we to relate to everyone else (especially believers), and how does that question inform the topic of premarital sexual activity?
We all know what we're talking about here, and these are not the things I mean to address in this column.
Would you describe whatever you did as "holy and honorable," or was it done to satisfy the "passionate lust" of you or your partner or both (1 Thessalonians 4:4-5)?
As a good initial principle here, we should affirm that sex itself (and sexual activity in general) is not inherently negative or sinful.
On the contrary, in the proper context, it is a kind and good gift of God.
We are to do this in light of what God has done for us in Christ and in light of Christ's impending return. For God did not call us to be impure, but to lead a holy life.
Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his holy spirit." Look closely at verse 6.