“We live in a day when people are so sensitive, and if you weren’t invited, people get hurt.
So I think keeping the thank you private is the best approach,” she counters.
“Take away their keys, say, ‘I’m insisting, you don’t have a choice, you’re staying here for the night.
We will work it all out in the morning,’ ” Post generously recommends.
Guest: Speaking of booze, how many bottles of pinot have to die before we stop bringing subpar, last-minute wine to dinner parties?
As much of a no-brainer as you may think the bottle of wine-as-tribute is, therein lies its downfall: very little thought.
Guest: Pitching in is admirable if the situation requires it, but it can often verge into awkward territory. Don’t try to insert yourself into everything.”Host: When the host decides the evening is over, he or she, according to Post, need do one thing: “Close down the bar.
More than likely it will be fine, but who are you to decide?
It is rude and it puts your host in an uncomfortable position, so whatever you do, do not arrive before the time listed on the card.”Guest: In the (regrettable, but likely) event you are running late, be up front with the host about your E. It sounds pretty simple, but it’s a common mistake, Post laments.
“One of the easiest mistakes that hosts and hostesses make is that they’re not ready on time. Chances are people will get there between 7 and , but you tell people to arrive at 7, and at 7, you’ve still got way too much stuff on the stovetop and you haven’t laid out the hors d’oeuvres or drinks.”Guest: As many etiquette conventions have fallen away, this one is timeless: do not bring someone unless you have cleared it with the host first.
“As a host, it is live and let live, or you can specify on the invite itself, ‘I am dying to have a completely detached meal,’ and say you can use them during cocktails, but not at dinner.”Guest: If you are newly arrived in a city or neighborhood, don’t shy away from any invitations.
“And that is a time to definitely bring a gift for the hostess.